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Talk:Eugene Woodland/@comment-30807545-20151025202235
Hello, hello~! This is your friendly DSR reviewer, Alphy! Anyways, the reason why I'm here to to do a total review of your character in hopes that you can improve them later on. I've gotten permission to do this by my partners-in-crime & two of the admins. Don't worry though, I'll make this as brief as possible as to not waste any of our time! I will try to be as cordial about this as possible. Yes, I DO have biases with some things related to the character, but that's just me. Not starting an argument, but here to help. That's my job as a reviewer and all :P I should add that I'm just doing this for your character and two others that many users (including myself) have a slight problem with, in one way or another. So yeah, all that shit and then some. However, I should tell you that each of your reviews will be different from one another because of the obvious :3 So without further ado, lets begin~ 1. Grammar - Okay, this is surprisingly much better than the other two articles that I've just reviewed (thank god >_<), so I'll be lenient with this part. Though there are a few grammatical errors here and there, there's no major issue. I suggest that with things like "(Enter how Eugene was stuck in a time freeze here)", add (<)!--- ---> in between them, but without the parenthesis. This would hide it completely and would allow you to work on it whenever you can. If you leave it exposed, it's gonna leave the wrong impression with others. You should space out the spaces between your equipment; it's all bunched up with one of the. Just sayin'. Also, with your gif, I suggest that you re-size it. It's throwing off the article in general and making it into an eyesore. Go to ezgif.com/resize to make it smaller. Besides those minor issues, that basically covers it. 2.Magic & Equipment - This. THIS part is the main point of the review. There are so many elements of this articles that soooo questionable, even by normal standards. I'm not sure where to begin honestly. But let's take this one at a time. :Eugene's Equipment: I-I can't even. Why doesn he need bows and arrows? He has a sword, doesn't he? Is he emulating Erza, using multiple weapons at the same time? If so, then I suggest to just stick with the sword. If he's based on one of the most hated characters in the history of anime (and for good reason too), just stick with it. Hell, you did say in the trivia, he was based off of that character (not mentioning the name for only God knows the reasons) - who's a *cough*mediocre*cough* "swordsman" (still questioning this since it happens in an MMORPG and everyone can become whatever they feel like). Also, WHY DOES HE NEED ARMOR?! That's an unnecessary aspect right there. He's a "Dragon Slayer" (you'll see why I put this in quotations later), thus doesn't even need armor. Everything else is fine. :Dragon Slayer Magic: Ahhhhh~, we FINALLY get to the main problem of this article. Dragon Slayer Magic. Slayer Magic in and of itself already decides the character in a nutshell. It's a magic that should ALWAYS be at the forefront of any character using it. All other magics are considered to be somewhat inconsequential in comparison. Here, I don't seen that. You description of Slayer Magic makes it seem like it's just a casual magic that one can own, like Elemental Magic. It's called a Lost Magic for a reason, Forest. You would rarely see, any other mage with another magic besides their Lost Magic; though, there are a few exceptions to this rule. Even then, there's circumstance to be involved. But, not in this case. I know you're making your character for *ugh* Fanfiction.net, but seriously =_= :Now as for the Dragon Slayer style itself, that's a big problem. Considering that you've named the magic after your username already irks some users, but not getting into that. Forest Dragon Slayer Magic. What the HELL does it do? I mean, does it manipulate aspects of nature like grass and certain shit? Does control wood? WHAT DOES IT DO?! Even when I was battling you with whatshisface, most of your spells either didn't make any sense or just seemed to be too silly; it was controlling multiple aspects instead of one. Also, if memory serves, I remember you saying that it was a "physical" DS - which again, doesn't make a lick of sense. Aru & Damon had that exact same complaint when you went up against them during that three-way showdown; I could understand why it stopped midway. Most of your spells, which don't have kanji on them - something that's a formatting error and needs to be corrected, either gives unclear information or isn't really viable by standards of this site. There's no proper description involving the mechanics of his Slayer style. :To be honest, since you have other magics you emphasized on more than this one, Eugene doesn't need to be a Dragon Slayer. AT ALL. I mean, you can be strong without reliance on this magic. Again, Aru, Damon, & some of the users (two of the admins included) feels the exact same way. So, I think as a character, Eugene should just be a normal mage; Dragon Slayer is TOO BIG of a concept in general & needs to be emphasized on above all else. You can't make it a minor issue and pass it off as something common. In short, Eugene is unfit to be a Slayer in any sense of the word. :Character Mode: This is something that irks not only me, but some of the admins & fellow users of this site. This aspect shouldn't even exist because it sort of interferes with canon. Even the description implies this to a certain extent ::"During the early stages of a child's life, the child will learn through mimicking everything around them. Because Eugene had to survive in the wilderness on his own for about 2-3 years after his Dragon disappeared, he's had to retain this instinct in order to survive. That's why he always carefully observes the people around him and learn how they fight, their techniques, their personality as well as their voice to an extent and likes to copy them sometimes using magic to do so. After memorizing another person's technique, he can improve on it if possible and sometimes likes to combine techniques he copies. He can also use this along with transformation magic to completely fool others." :No. Just no. Take this out ENTIRELY. This is just unneeded and adds on the "stacking effect" seen in Eugene's character; it's one of the reasons why he wasn't approved to join the DSR in the first place. :Spellblade is a magic, not a swordsmanship technique. Add this to the magic part of the article. I feel like you don't fully grasp the aspect of this spell. It creates an elemental blade using one's magical energy and requires one to have a certain elemental affinity. Eugene doesn't have one by the looks of it, thus it's not really needed. If you don't understand something Forest, don't use it; at least read the article first before making the decision to use it or not. :Alter Egos: Again, why? WHY DOES THIS EVEN EXIST?! Is it even needed? Does it even help? I mean, I know he's some kinda spy, but does it relate to his Transformation magic in any sense or is it just there to make Eugene look like he's the "Master of Disguise"? If it's the latter, then it's pretty tasteless. Keep it, delete it, I don't care. Something that's been eating at me for a while is this: WHY IS HE APART OF TWO GUILDS AT THE SAME TIME?! Nononononononononono! That's simply not possible. He's part of Fairy Tail and Unchained Soul? No. That's basically saying that he switches between guilds freely & whenever he wants, both of them being okay with it. I do believe when you join a guild you're LOYAL to that one SINGLE guild. It's not like a job where you get one job and another part-time job. It's FULL ON DEDICATION! Even in canon, this isn't possible. Doranbolt & Grey are perfect examples. Even when infiltrating, their loyalty remained to a single organization or group. You can say that he's part of one and has a loose affiliation with the other; this way, people get the right idea about his loyalties. Lemme simplify this for you: you can't have your cake & eat it too. It's either Fairy Tail or Unchained Soul. Choose one. Besides your character's relationship with *ugh* Sif Akiyama being a total reference to the Mary Sue couple of SAO *pukes in mouth for saying the abbreviation*, (which would explain their child), everything else is fine... I guess. That's the basic jist of things. As I said, if you fix these minor issues and take some of the suggestions that I put down here (some of which were suggested by other users), you character would look more... presentable. Again, it's up to you to follow this review guide; If you do, then hooray! If you don't, then.... Hope that the characters doesn't rub people the wrong way or give people ideas that will in-turn give admins a headache. Anyways, this is also so that you can enter and NOT possibly get disqualified in next year's DSR (i.e. Improve your chances). Welp, that's it for me. I'm outties~